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It was 11:30PM when I wrote this in the backseat of my parents’ car, being whisked back to Long Island, hoping to catch a little sleep before the LA trek. Normally, I’d be too excited to get an ounce of sleep, but I’d run myself so ragged that I went into a coma that nearly made me miss my flight.
The last two weeks were crazy, trying to see every friend, every family member, and make every moment count. My Dad told me to look around and take my last look at Manhattan for what could be a long time. But after soaking in everything that made my life in NY great and spending days packing and compartmentalizing my life, I don’t think I can appreciate a last look anymore. I don’t see any of this as a goodbye. It’s an abrupt break with my personal universe, and I don’t think any birthday party, going away party, or amount of time could amount to a good enough bon voyage.
I haven’t updated much recently, and the trend will continue for a few weeks more until we find a place to live in LA. But something happened tonight that I wanted to share.
After spending every waking hour packing for the last week, getting barely any sleep, Jena and I finally loaded up a moving truck and cleaned out our apartment. It was exhausting, but more than that, it felt like a gut punch. This was the place we called home for over two years, and now it’s just this blank space with none of the personality we gave it. It felt like a piece of ourselves stripped bare. A safe zone where we could no longer take refuge. Drained of energy and morale, we went out to dinner with our parents, struggling to stay awake.
Earlier in the week, I asked Erica, the photographer of our wedding, if she could get us the wedding pictures by that night. Jena had mentioned it would mean a lot to her to be able to share seeing the pictures with her family, and I wanted to do something for her before we left, especially in view of all the hard work she’d put towards making my birthday a special one. Anyway, it was a pretty impromptu request, but Erica said she would try to get them to me by the last night we’d be with our parents.
The whole night I struggled to keep people from leaving. I actually lied about when Erica said she’d get the photos to us (she actually said between 10PM-11PM, not 10PM. Sorry. Womp womp). We stormed from Starbucks to Starbucks, refreshing and reloading the site, hoping it would update. As it turned from 9 to 10 to 11, our parents started losing faith. They were tired and wanted to go home. Even Jena started losing faith, and we had to start saying our goodbyes. But at the very end of our tear-filled departure, I hit reload one last time and –
I share this story because Jena and I are saying goodbye to an old way of life and taking a chance on something abstract. We are reaching out for an incredible victory based on a promise that we made to ourselves, and we plan to push ourselves as far as we can go to achieve it. But it will take time. It will take every fiber of our being to keeping going. But we can’t give up, even at the eleventh hour. We have to push, for ourselves and for every person, friends and family, who believed. Because we’re holding out for something that important to us. Because in that moment, when you reach victory and you can share it with the people you love…
Goddamn it feels great.
See you all later.
I’ve had the chance to play a LOT of video games lately to de-stress, albeit only in hour-long chunks. Some are old, some are new. I’ve written a paragraph on each one. Let’s go!!!!
Pac Man Championship Edition DX
I never played Pac Man growing up. It never really held my interest because a) it wasn’t the style of game I liked, and b) I have ADD, so staring at the same screen of a game became tiresome. Also, c) I sucked at it. This game, however, is fun and solves all those issues I had. There’s tons of little activities and scores to achieve, and the sound and look of the game was designed to be like candy; enticing and addictive. I wonder if the game is too easy to newcomers compared to the strict challenge of the original. But that original is still present if you really want it, and has been around for ages. This version is a cool update that’s fun to play. A good buy, though I’m not sure how much I’m going to play past that 1-hour mark.
Skullgirls
It’s been a while since I played a fighting game in which I was mercilessly crushed in my first match. Hell, I had to play Skullgirls on the easiest difficulty just to start understanding it. The game’s fighting system focuses on combos, something I’ve never been too good at. My technique, while precise, does involve some button mashing, which is your foe here. Like Pac Man, the game looks and sounds gorgeous, though for different reasons. The animation is so amazing, it’s actually the reason I kept playing. I thought I’d like it more, but what you see is what you get in terms of unlockables and modes, both of which are really sparse. This is all about the gameplay, and you either like it or you don’t. Recommended for those who love tournament fighters. Personally, since I will most likely never play with anyone else, I’m not sure I see the point.
Bloodrayne Betrayal
This Castlevania-like 2D sidescroller is good and well made but… That’s it. See, everything the game does has been done better before. The game is competently made and it is pretty, but there’s nothing that really drives me to keep playing. The animation and design isn’t so engaging that I want to see more of it, and the gameplay doesn’t have so much depth that I’m curious to see how much farther they go with it. The game just… exists. It’s not a bad buy, really, I just think there are better games. I think you have to love the game before playing to like it. As in, love the idea of playing as a sexy vampire lady. If you’re looking for a game that lets you do that, than shit, play away. You can totally do worse.
Everyday Shooter
This game made my head hurt. I give it credit for originality and an amazingly unique style and soundtrack. And the challenges change from stage to stage, keeping the experience fresh. It’s unique, challenging, and will keep you playing for a long time. The problem is, I can’t bring myself to play it anymore, because it hurts to look at. There’s so much happening, and it’s displayed in such bizarre ways. You can’t even get used to it, because the style changes each level. It’s hard to really anchor yourself in the game, especially knowing that it will keep changing as you progress. After a time, I got tired of unlocking more ways to play the same thing that I just wasn’t gelling with. Everything this game does, it does well; I just cannot play it at all.
The Simpsons Arcade Game
God, I remember playing this all the time. It was and is a fun little time waster. Does the game hold up? Kind of, I guess. It holds up more in a party setting, where no one’s really paying attention to what’s being played. This isn’t something two hardcore gamers play with each other. This is something you pop on during a party that some people play, some people watch and others just drink. It’s a fond trip down memory lane, and it still has the same fun appeal as, say, the X-Men arcade game. Just don’t go in expecting anything but nostalgia.
Comix Zone
Another blast from the past. I loved this game. The idea of flipping through pages is so brilliant, I’m shocked no one has used it to a more extreme level today. This game has a look and feel to it that really connects you to the style of 90’s era comics. The difficulty is unforgiving, but I was able to beat it as a little kid, so I can’t imagine most adults would struggle with it now. Nostalgia only.
Outland
Outland is a lot like Bloodrayne, except I want to keep playing it. The game is, again, a Castlevania-style 2D side scroller. The difference here is that all the elements are phenomenally applied. The graphics are engaging, gorgeous, and constantly evolving, making you want to explore more of the world. The gameplay is deliberate and ever unfolding, keeping you conscious of what you’re doing and making you crave unlocking new techniques. Overall, it’s a much more solid game.
Saints Row 2
I plan to play more of this game. Maybe because, now that I’ve finished Sleeping Dogs (which was awesome), I’m craving some more sandbox fun. The game is actually more fun to play than Saints Row 3. Saints Row 3 seems to be aware of how goofy and off the wall it was, giving you ample ways to be goofy and off the wall. But the world and plot here is much more serious and down to earth, which makes being goofy and off the wall more fun. Roger Rabbit’s antics are much more amusing in the real world than when he’s in Toon Town, because there, he’s just another cartoon. A while back, I talked about internal realities, and how keeping it consistent allows an audience to become more engaged. This is actually what makes Saints Row 2 so great. Because it does stick to its own internal reality, and the fun stems from the fact that you keep disrupting it. Check it out.
Aaaaaaand, that’s it! Back to packing! Why did I play so many games instead of doing that?! CURSE YOU ADD!!!
This weekend was my second New York Comic Con and my third con overall. It was an intense experience. Things changed. I’ve changed. I fell into my own, I think. For the first time, it was less of an event, and more like going to a job that I really enjoyed. I was in this magically eccentric office where we all have a task to do, selling our creativity to the masses. And yeah, sure, the pay isn’t great, but you put yourself through hell because you just love working there.
I couldn’t really hit the show floor this year. Instead, I was there to show my work to the fans. To get my writing out there and into the hands of some good readers. I went there representing 3 books this year: Fenix Gear, Unlife, and Division. Fenix Gear was the same big funny thing it always was, Unlife had come into its own with 100 strips, and Division was sharing a preview issue with my script included. I have to say, I was so focused on pushing out bookmarks and buttons and Unlife and Fenix Gear that I barely noticed the amount of signatures I did this year. Between Division, prints, minis, and FG Trades, I would say I signed almost 200 items. My version of office documents, I suppose.
I was always at the booth, talking to people, generating laughs. It wasn’t all selling. Sometimes it was just funny conversation. Talking with the fans, laughing with co-workers and booth mates, even from across the way, before returning to the grind of selling creativity. It really was an office.
I feel like such an awkward guy sometimes. I try to be friendly, but I’m pretty positive that I’m weird. But for once, I didn’t really feel all that weird. The folks at Comic Con get made fun of a lot, but hell, they’re the best kind of people. They’re passionate, they’re friendly, and they’re there because they love something. And they make it a great big circus where anything can happen. Where wonder is offered to the masses, and they reflect it back on the creators that gave it to them with so much love and enthusiasm. They’ll even spend 100 dollars on cat ears that twitch according to your brainwaves (I swear to God, I am not making that up).
My biggest regret, really, is that I didn’t take more pictures. It went by so fast that I never had time to play tourist. I barely even spent time with any of my old friends who dropped by. All those brief encounters felt so fast, so fleeting, and I never had a moment to really relax and savor them. It was almost a best of album, with snapshots of friends I got to see during and after con, people who checked in because they cared. It was really wonderful seeing all the support I have, all the friends and family in my life. Thank you to everyone, new and old. I hope I get to see you all again before I leave for LA.
All in all, it was an amazingly successful con. All of our buttons and mini comics and bookmarks gone, 140 Division comics sold, 37 Fenix Gears sold, and Zack tried Grey’s Papaya for the first time. I don’t like name dropping, but the stars of comic con were Zack Turner, Tom Martinez, Mel Martinez, and my gorgeous wife Jena, looking adorable in my giant Dragon Ball Z t-shirt. Next year, who knows? Maybe I’ll get a little cubicle with them in San Diego. We shall see…
My stomach is growling incessantly at me. I need to eat. I didn’t plan to do anything this morning, but the only thing I wanted to do was write. I wanted to get back to work. Go figure.
Wanting something entertaining as I stapled the Unlife books, I decided to watch Batman: Year One.
Now, I read the book years ago. A lot of people see it as the definitive Batman tale, and I can understand why. It hits so many perfect notes that characterize both the Bat and Jim Gordon as they come into their own during their introduction to Gotham. I don’t think it’s the best Batman story I’ve ever read (Black Mirror is the reigning champion right now), but it’s a solid one nonetheless. It succeeds where most Batman books fail, in that it characterizes Bruce Wayne as a person. Batman is most often a traveler in a twisted world, so the exploration of who he is as a person is often limited. It’s why so many Batman movies are about the villains and not Batman himself (though Nolan made sure to rectify that).
So, how does the animated adaptation hold up?
… Eh.
Schizophrenic is the best way to describe the way this film felt to me. There was a definite mismatch between the audio and the visual, which was my main problem. It was especially noticeable in the leads, Ben McKenzie (Batman/Bruce Wayne) and Bryan Cranston (Jim Gordon). I need to go backwards a bit to explain why this is the core problem of the film.
All DC animated films look very similar. They often try to adapt the look of the book on which the animation is based, but DC heroes are often very statuesque. They are stiff, standing up straight and heroic, and the animation is generally static until the action starts. This is partly due to the influence of the extremely successful Bruce Timm series (take your pick: Batman, Superman, Batman Beyond, Justice League), but it’s also the result of what seems like a directive to match the books as seamlessly as possible.
The shots used in these movies, especially in this one, mimic the book almost frame for frame. I understand wanting to stay true to the nature of the core property, but a comic is paced very differently than a movie. Sometimes this literal style of storyboarding can work. But in a movie as dialogue-heavy as Year One, the animation can become very boring during scenes drawn from a single text-heavy frame of the book.
To be fair, when this movie gets moving, it REALLY gets moving with very fluid animations. But despite looking good, it’s such a huge departure from the previous animation that it actually makes the static scenes seem that much stiffer.
When stiff animations are an issue, the onus falls to the voice cast to make things interesting. The weight of the task is even heavier on McKenzie and Cranston, since the entire film is about their perspective on their unfolding education. They’re learning what it means to do what they’ve chosen to do, as a cop and as Batman. We hear their thoughts as they take in the corruption of Gotham, learning about their strengths and their weaknesses, both internal and external.
With all this in mind, the rigid adherence to the source material and the reliance on the two leads, we can finally talk about the main problems of the film, which are Batman and Gordon themselves. More specifically, the actors playing them. And, surprisingly, the actors represent two sides of a problematic spectrum.
Ben McKenzie seems to be trying to channel Kevin Conroy here, but comes off as wooden and cold. The character is just not interesting. I understand Batman is a cold individual, or at least, that’s how he wants to come off to his foes. But Year One isn’t about that. Bruce’s narrations are supposed to expose an insecurity and weakness in Bruce. He’s unsure of himself and is trying to gain confidence. He has the drive and the training, but not the experience. McKenzie isn’t horrible, but in one of the few stories that actually explores who Batman is internally, the character comes off as bland and uninteresting. He’s cool, but that’s never helped or supported by the vocals. Only the animation.
Bryan Cranston represents another problem: he’s too good. Seriously, that’s the issue. Cranston is an amazing actor with warmth and depth. Even without a physical performance, his skill is evident. And he’s an understandable choice for Gordon, who is more the main character of this piece. A good actor who could characterize Gordon’s internal struggle was necessary. The problem is that the animation is so stiff, that all of Cranston’s inflections and the quirks he’s built into how he delivers his lines are lost. The difference between his nuanced delivery and the boring, static visuals is too jarring. The two just don’t match at all, which makes Cranston’s fine performance pointless.
As a side note, I would love to see Cranston in a live action Batman movie as Gordon. Actually, what I would really love is to see him playing the Joker, maybe in a live action adaptation of the Dark Knight Returns, if not just for this scene from season 4 of Breaking Bad:
The main problem with Year One is that nothing gels. The elements all work independently of each other. The voice cast is comprised of great actors, the animation team is competent and talented, and the story is truly wonderful. But none of them play nicely with each other, making the result erratic, inconsistent, unsure of what it is. The film is good enough, but holds itself back from being great. Because, in animation especially, it’s not just about hiring the best of the best. It’s a collaboration, in the same way Year One is a collaboration between two very different heroes. A combination of their separate stories. In the book, both heroes and stories work together and complement one another. Here, they don’t. And what should have been a great team becomes something limited by its own brilliance.
So, we’re inching closer and closer to New York Comic Con. I have a ton of things still to do (yay), but they’re getting done, which is the best I can ask for. Let’s do a little con rundown on what will be available:
Fenix Gear, Volume 1, issues 1-5: $10
Unlife NYCC Exclusive Short Story: $1
Unlife Buttons: $1
Unlife Bookmarks: Free
Unlife Print: $5
Metroid or Castlevania: $10
Zack Commissions: Pencils = $10, Inks = $20, Colors = $40 – $70
TOMMEL will also be there with their stuff, including a $3 preview issue of Division, the comic we’re working on together.
It’s pretty crazy going to NYCC with three different books in tow. Last year it was only one, and that took me YEARS to complete. It shows how much things have changed since last year. NYCC was the big show then. We had been saving up for it, training for it, for years and years. It was overwhelming, the idea that we were going to have our own booth and product to show. This year, it’s lost some of its importance. The glitz and glamour of it has faded. But it’s still a big deal. What’s really changed is me.
I don’t usually like bringing up this friend too often, but our final time working together was at NYCC. Back then, I was also still employed at Blue Sky. Since then, both of these parts of my life have become distant memories. I remember how Fenix Gear, in all its forms, was always pitched to this friend first, always showed off at Blue Sky first. I obsessed over getting things right, making it perfect. I was unsure, putting all my faith in NYCC, thinking that if I made it there on my hard work, it would all magically come together.
But nothing started or ended there. It just happened, and life continued. Some things for better, and some for the –
No. For the better. Comic Con was a great goal back in the day. Now it’s just a place to show off what I’ve accomplished. The importance of the show isn’t what it gives to me, but what I bring to it. I’ve learned a lot about myself as a writer and a person in this one year.
I mark my time and progress from that event, rather than the jobs I held. I focused all my effort for years and years on one product, driving myself nuts trying to get it right. And now I’m going there with three products. Three different creative avenues that will show how passionate and dedicated I am.
But even that isn’t my main goal or victory. I do want to prove to my friends and family and everyone that I am capable and talented, but…
Since last year, I have created more quality scripts and books, and been a part of so many different rewarding partnerships and experiences, that any other year before pales in comparison. Blue Sky, Zack, Tom, Mel, MoCCA, Dr. Who, Breaking Bad, Peril and Perish, Unlife, The Division, Fenix Gear, the blog, and most of all, getting fucking married are just the highlights of an insane year. I never really took into account how much my life has changed in this one year.
And one year from now, I’ll be in LA, and my life will have changed even more. Never for the worse. Things might get bad, I’m sure, but life never changes for the worse. Not as long as I have a say in it. I have grown up in the past year, as both a person and a writer, and it’s so goddamn great and exciting when I think about how far I’ve come, and about the people that have come with me.
I’m sitting here looking at a box of 200 comics I stapled together, that Zack and I did for fun. A simple story that celebrated our love for characters that we have cared for and spent time with for years.
And it’s such a special feeling being able to look at this and all the other things I have done this last year and know that this is just a small sampling of how much has been done. And of how much more I have to offer.
I hope to see you all at Comic Con.
I’ve been playing this game, Dead Or Alive 5, recently. For of you who don’t know this game, this is the trailer for what you get if you pre-order the game:
This fighting game is pretty famous for the T&A display, even going as far as having a beach volleyball spinoff where the ultimate goal is to unlock more and more bikinis for the girls to hop around in. And just the girls. No sausages here, thank you. The whole series has never pretended to be anything other than eye candy for dudes. So why am I talking about this?
Because I hate the fact that if you get past all that, DOA 5 is utterly fantastic.
The game focuses on a rock-paper-scissor method of gameplay: strikes, holds/counters, grabs, and blocks (rock-paper-scissor-… fish?). Success requires both psyching out your opponent and finding the right combination of moves in order to utterly pummel them into the ground. The matches that I’ve played against my friends rank as some of the most intense video game bouts I’ve had in years. Sometimes the game actually would become too intense, and we’d have to stop playing for an extended period of time to calm down. It’s such a rush that I go through withdrawal after an intense confrontation.
I’ve always had a fondness for fighting games, one of the most consistently represented genres in my game collection. Over the years I’ve collected the various versions of Marvel vs. Capcom, Street Fighter, Blazblue, Guilty Gear, DOA, Naruto, Dragonball Z, etc etc. It’s a genre I never get tired of, maybe because I find a fluid battle of spirit-vs-spirit so engaging. It’s simple, but intense, testing how you stand up to another warrior. Yes, I know, I’m referring to two clouds of coding sending more code that displays people punching each other. It’s not real, I get it. But it’s a thrill.
DOA 5 has its own story mode, but truth be told, my favorite part of any fighting game is doing that myself. I love to create my own stories of why these characters were fighting. Why are the two fighting in a sewer, and why is one in a cat suit? It adds a different edge to the competition that gets me more pumped than any sport I’ve ever watched or played… I’m a nerd like that.
I guess my point is that I love this genre so much, and DOA5 should be an amazing example, but that gets totally lost in all the giant boobies being waved in my face. Don’t get me wrong, I love breasts. They’re awesome. The thing is, I’m an adult now, and I can’t play this game without feeling embarrassed. I want to defend the game for its amazing fight mechanics, but I can’t talk about this:
Without also mentioning this:
There’s no way to ignore the fact that this is an integral visual part of what I’m playing.
Now, I’m a firm believer that you can tell a story so many ways, and there’s no “right way” to do it. A director has the freedom to craft the product they want. But if you don’t tell it well or in a way that clearly vanquishes preconceived notions, the point is lost. People will see what’s presented to them and jump to their own conclusions.
It reminds me of high school, when my drama teacher put on a version of Macbeth with a female lead as Macbeth. She was a strong choice for the character, and they tried to explain that Macbeth and Lady Macbeth were Amazons – not necessarily a couple, but partners in leading their clan. Now, I’m not saying Macbeth has to be played by a man, nor do I think that a game has to look a certain way to be taken seriously. Far from it. But I’m saying that when one element distracts from the other, it creates a split in the perception of the product, of what it’s about. And at that point it’s out of your control. It’s at the users’ mercy. That’s why there needs to be a consistency and teamwork between the two aspects. This goes for any story – a play just as much as a game.
At the end of the day, DOA 5 is a solid game masquerading as bouncy and busty fluff. A quality product that, nine times out of ten, will only elicit a response along the lines of, “Look! Boobs!!” I wish it wasn’t, so that I could play this game without a small sense of shame. But…
Yeah.
Well, getting back into the swing of things has been much harder than I thought. I was confident that one week before Con, and three weeks before our move to LA, blogging would be simple and I’d find time. The thing is, there is always something to do. There are always people to make appointments with, or things to pack, or other preparations to make. Tonight, I’m actually going to be stapling books together for Con (whoops, nope! Seeing my parents). On top of that, I have my birthday coming up, my final birthday in NYC for the foreseeable future, and I can’t figure out, at all, what I want to do. I want to do something special, but…
I often have to write the endings of my scripts before I start. Or at least know, generally, how I want the thing to end. Once I’ve figured out what the ultimate point of the journey is, I can build an appropriate arc leading up to it. And here I am, at the end of my NYC adventure, and I didn’t really plan an ending. I certainly didn’t expect to be here this long, let alone get married.
When you read a book, no matter how good a chapter is, you just plow through and move onto the next one. Chapters can sometimes be disposable in the context of the larger story. But some chapters make you put the story down and take a moment to think before continuing. The chapter touched you in a way that you didn’t think it would. It moved you, left you with more than when you started the story. And to me, a pause isn’t enough. A reflection or a 5 hour party isn’t enough. I want more, dammit!
And maybe that’s my biggest problem. I’m looking at this through a writer’s eyes, wondering about endings, as if leaving NYC is an ending. It is, I suppose, but it’s not my ending. It’s an ending of things. A change, or a chapter break. But still, if my birthday party is the last big hurrah for me with my friends, then how do you give it the significance it deserves? Because I think it deserves a lot.
I’m really going to miss my friends and family. It’s an enormously important step to exist outside of their amazing safety net. It’s fair to say I’m spoiled, both by the quality of my friends, and by the unconditional love of my family. That’s not something people just give out for the hell of it. And this is my last celebration with them, and I want to make it special, because that chapter is over.
You get to a point in your life where you want to do everything perfectly. You want to show your progress, how far you’ve come, show people that they were right to believe in you. My friends’ and family’s support as I’ve developed into an artist has been beyond moving at times. It’s pushed me further than I ever would have gone without them. And these people still believe in me, regardless of my screw-ups or my lack of finances. And I still believe because of them. And that’s worth so much to me.
I’m sad, knowing this chapter is about to end. The next one promises to be just as exciting and as memorable as this one, but… the characters I’ve met, the experiences I’ve shared, everything we’ve gone through, both separately and together, have meant so much to me. How could I not want my last hurrah with them to be the greatest thing ever?
Or maybe I’ll just force them all to watch Dragonball Z. When else am I going to be able to guilt them all into doing that, right?
It’s about a couple… of killers.
Birds of a Feather is a love story with a dark twist. At its core, it’s the tale of two people finding each other through a shared interest that excites and intrigues them. Unfortunately, it’s illegal, immoral, and completely unsustainable. That interest is murder. Our “heroes” are falling in love over the bodies of the unlucky strangers who cross their path.
This is the script of the original half-hour pilot I wrote, Birds of a Feather. Enjoy!
Death. It’ll change your life. After being bitten by a zombie, James has lost everything he cares about. But now that he’s dead, he’s finally learning how to live.
This is a preview of the webcomic I write, Unlife.
Zack Turner is the original creator of the series and regular artist.
The series is free, and updates twice a week. Come read the whole tale at
Zoe. Leylie. Carolyn. Three survivors of the SAMSON experiments. They’re women with super powers and they can kick your ass.
They’re here to fight evil. Problem is, they can’t stop fighting each other. Zoe, Leylie, and Carolyn must battle for survival against anti-SAMSON agents known only as the White Coats. Soon, however, they learn that their actions have greater consequences than they realize. Can they get over their own issues in order to save the world, or will they tear it apart instead? The adventure begins here…
This is a preview of the comic I wrote and produced, Fenix Gear.
Special thanks to Zack Turner for his art.
For more information and the complete comic, please visit
Don't Look Down 